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(Not that they always do, of course, but there’s more of an expectation of it.) But a really big part of it is the reality that most women doing online dating quickly learn that if they send polite rejections to men who contact them, they’ll receive an enormous number of hostile and even abusive responses.And you can’t always tell who those are going to come from!Employers are expected to close the loop when someone sends them business correspondence, which is what a job application is.With online dating, there’s more of a cultural norm (among most people, at least) that if you’re not interested, there’s no need to respond to say that; it’s okay to just delete the message.
And online dating was a very promising way to think about this solution for a marketplace that wasn’t working very well, and he tried online dating and he was just failing miserably, continuously. So I didn’t ask them to really enroll, I just took their profile sheets and asked people, "Could you fill those out but without your name? So this is kind of an initial observation that something is going wrong in this, in this market.
They’re not about sitting in the room and interviewing each other about questions; they’re often about experiencing something together in the real world.
And I think it’s because if you and I went out, and we went somewhere, I would look at how you react to the outside world.
" And I took people that I liked more and I liked less, and I took their profile and I tried to figure out could I tell the difference? Imagine you went to 50 people you really like and 50 people you only like so-so, and you asked all of them to fill this profile, then you took this 100 profiles and you tried to sort them out into piles. And then went a step further, did some studies with online daters about how much they enjoyed it and what they were getting from it, until the final stage, we, I figured out, I thought I knew what was going on, which is that online dating sites assume that people are easy to describe on searchable attributes.
They think that we’re like digital cameras, that you can describe somebody by their height and weight and political affiliation and so on. That when you taste the wine, you could describe it, but it’s not a very useful description. And it’s the complexity and the completeness of the experience that tells you if you like a person or not.
And this breaking into attributes turns out not to be very informative.